


get it, boss.

by DictionaryWrites



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-06 23:37:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15205964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/pseuds/DictionaryWrites
Summary: The Joker is getting hot and heavy with SOMEBODY, but...Goon POV. Short humour fic.





	get it, boss.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: if we can requ for batjokes can we get something involving joker's makeup being smeared by batman?

“Oh, boss is getting hot and heavy with Harley again,” Jose says, and Figaro glances up. The Joker is concentrated not on them, but on a little rocket in his hands. He keeps shaking the thing and tapping its base, then holding it up to his ear - Figaro’s pretty sure the thing is live, and that it could blow up at any second, but… Joker ain’t exactly big on bomb safety.

His make-up is smeared to fuck. The white powder he wears on the entirety of his face is broken and shifted in places, showing the slightly less pale skin underneath, and his lipstick,  _God_. The stuff is smeared all around his mouth, on his cheeks, on his chin…

“Is that blood?” asks Paxman in a low voice, and– Shit, yeah, that  _is_  blood. Not Harley’s, either: it’s dripping down from Joker’s split lower lip, mixing in with the wax of his lipstick. 

“God, they go at each other too hard,” Figaro mutters. “She’s gonna snap and kill him one day, I bet you.”

“Not if he kills her first,” Paxman replies. There’s a  _krrsht_  from the radio, and then a voice picks up.

“ _Hey, bozos!”_  Harley says on the line. “ _I need a team out in the Amusement Mile, stat.”_

“Uh, I can send Rhodey and his crew, Doctor Quinn,” Jose says, squinting over a map of Gotham sprawled out on the table. “They’re out by the Steel Mill. Where you at?”

“ _I’m on the Ferris Wheel!”_  Jose frowns at the radio, and Paxman and Figaro glance at each other, perplexed.

“Uh, okay, Doc, I’ll patch ‘em in now. I’ll give you an ETA once I have it.”

“If she’s out in Arkham, who the Hell is–”

“He’s interrogating Batman,” Figaro says suddenly, remembering all at once. He remembers Grant Farmer and his boys dragging the bat in and shoving him into an office chair, tying him up before Joker came back. “Alone, in the office. The soundproofed office.”

As one, the three of them turn toward the boss. Joker doesn’t just have the rocket anymore - he’s pulled lube out of his box of tricks, and what looks like a pair of nipple clamps.

“Jesus Christ,” Jose says.

“Get it, boss,” Paxman murmurs, grinning to himself, and Joker turns to look at them. With a big wink, he turns back toward the office, and they hear the door click shut. 

“You think it’s like this working for Two-Face?” Figaro asks, philosophically.

“Nah. I don’t think Batman would let Two-Face touch him in a million years,” Jose says, and he radios Harley Rhodey’s ETA. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Hit me up on Tumblr!](http://dictionarywrites.tumblr.com/faq) Requests always open.


End file.
